Daily Gratitude: Beginnings

Day 24/365: I am grateful to live in a world where we can always begin again, start over, have a second chance.

Several years ago, I participated in an intuitive painting workshop that pushed all my buttons and set my insecurities ringing. After a great deal of frustration and tears, I made a breakthrough ... not particularly in the quality of my art, but in the way I thought about it and myself.

It prompted the following poem:

Begin Again

I stand at an expanse of white paper.
  Fears rise like a rush of ravens cawing
  my inadequacies to an indifferent world.
  “Begin!” I cry above their screechings.

I throw paint — fuchsia, chartreuse, deep purple.
   Hope for a miracle slowly sinks into gloom
   as the Muse rejects my careless offering.
   “Begin again!” she commands.

I craft a lofty scene filled with symbol and sign.
   Color and context weave an eye-pleasing cry
   for approval and recognition that does not come.
   “Begin again,” the Muse repeats.

I wildly cover the space with scribble and daub.
   Then, lost on the page, I stand frozen in fear,
   a hollow husk with no place to hide.
   “Begin again,” she whispers.

I stand — waiting, listening, attending.
   A feeling guides me to a land timeless and unplanned.
   Brush, color and hand create in unjudged harmony.
   I am awake, alive, vision vibrating through me.

Softly the Muse just repeats, “Begin again.”

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